: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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