I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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