the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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