hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
