you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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