oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize