An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
