I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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