I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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