Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
