Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize