my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
