I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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