Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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