she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have feelings that need drinking.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Pooping to opera.
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