he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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