Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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