p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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