More tranny stories later!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
