I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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