Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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