Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
