I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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