real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
