My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
