I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
