i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
