i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My vagina is officially offended.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
