But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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