I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
