What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
