Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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