from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
