Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
