its not stalking. its research.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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