getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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