Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

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  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
  Replies (101) Good night (10720) Bad night (1465)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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  (952): So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome http://tfl.nu/t5m3
  Replies (12) Good night (6542) Bad night (1151)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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  (410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh
  Replies (62) Good night (7628) Bad night (1718)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.

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  (508): I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch. http://tfl.nu/jvw8
  Replies (22) Good night (1182) Bad night (8159)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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  (605): My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day http://tfl.nu/e7q8
  Replies (5) Good night (2244) Bad night (2563)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2503) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam

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  (702): Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam http://tfl.nu/lqc4
  Replies (5) Good night (2075) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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  (415): I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW. http://tfl.nu/hy3p
  Replies (6) Good night (2483) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne

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  (904): Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne http://tfl.nu/4m6j
  Replies (5) Good night (1342) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

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  (406): All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off http://tfl.nu/72k1
  Replies (14) Good night (2306) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.

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  (907): I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue. http://tfl.nu/inzh
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

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  (612): He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this. http://tfl.nu/vp0n
  Replies (10) Good night (3065) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard

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  (775): She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard http://tfl.nu/1o8s
  Replies (5) Good night (411) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.

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  (253): We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken. http://tfl.nu/e42q
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside

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  (209): apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside http://tfl.nu/iy13
  Replies (2) Good night (209) Bad night (433)

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