Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

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  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (44335) Bad night (1710)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

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  (615): Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low http://tfl.nu/4tyo
  Replies (24) Good night (3295) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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  (732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust
  Replies (18) Good night (653) Bad night (3938)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude

  (650): View more from California

  So your saying just a blow job?

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  (347): Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude (650): So your saying just a blow job? http://tfl.nu/cev0
  Replies (6) Good night (877) Bad night (3276)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Strong 6

  (516): View more from New York

  That's an oxymoron.

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  (516): On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck? (201): Strong 6 (516): That's an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/n45n
  Replies (32) Good night (1332) Bad night (4358)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

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  (859): I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/b0qx
  Replies (17) Good night (4187) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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  (570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex
  Replies (22) Good night (1010) Bad night (11716)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

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  (913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady." http://tfl.nu/ftym
  Replies (11) Good night (6286) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.

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  (985): Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man. http://tfl.nu/y0hn
  Replies (16) Good night (858) Bad night (5695)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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  (+44): He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week http://tfl.nu/00sr
  Replies (13) Good night (1297) Bad night (3848)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later

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  (970): We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later http://tfl.nu/sax8
  Replies (4) Good night (2099) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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  (510): It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him. http://tfl.nu/gszx
  Replies (4) Good night (3073) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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  (402): What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something? http://tfl.nu/b3em
  Replies (16) Good night (2381) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.

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  (+44): So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me. http://tfl.nu/ocor
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.

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  (570): i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0. http://tfl.nu/r5hx
  Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (643)

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