I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Randomize
