wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
how drunk are you?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...