she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.