why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
