My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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