We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
