Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
