Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
