why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
