Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
