and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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