Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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