dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
