If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
