p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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