it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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