if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
