Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
