The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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