i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
