i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
