when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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