Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
