after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
