Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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