I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
