Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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