I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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