she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You can't motorboat a personality
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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