you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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