Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The air was thick with penises
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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