Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
