Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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