I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
